


Waking dream

by theycallmesuperboy



Series: You can't wake up this is not a dream [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coma, Coma dream, F/M, Happy Ending, Little bit of angst, M/M, Miscommunication, Multi, Mutual Pining, Polyamory, Post-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 09:09:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5660764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theycallmesuperboy/pseuds/theycallmesuperboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn wakes up. </p>
<p>Poe and Rey are at his side, their presence in his life strong like a heartbeat. They’re in love, a clockwork unit that can’t work apart, running a Resistance together and it’s fine. Everything is fine. Finn’s past haunts him, following him like a shadow, an itch never leaving his mind, but it’s fine. Everything is <i>always</i> fine.</p>
<p>Except… he wakes up again. </p>
<p>  <i>Or: where Finn wakes up from a coma after his battle with Kylo Ren, and he isn’t sure what’s real, and what’s not. All he knows is that he loves his two companions, whether they’re friends, or something else.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hahahA so this is the first thing I've really written in months, I guess it takes Star Wars to get me to do something again?

Finn woke up. It looked like early morning, and he could hear someone banging around in the kitchen. Kitchen? Oh, yeah. Of the apartment. Poe was still sleeping, draped over him, still not used to sharing his bed after a year. Had it really already been a year they’d been together? It must have been. 

Rey, then, was in the kitchen. She always got up first, even though Finn himself was used to waking up at the drop of a hat, drills and alarms going off and waking him before his shifts during his time as a Stormtrooper. She must have been cooking, she and Poe took turns- and Finn was left to clean up. It didn’t matter, though, he didn’t know how to cook, that was always someone else’s job. He was sanitation. 

He heard shuffling, and looked up as Rey came around the corner. The wisps of her hair were stuck to her face, but otherwise she looked ready to take on the day. “He isn’t up yet?” she asked. Finn shook his head, and Rey got that look on her face that she got when she had an idea, and suddenly she was jumping on the bed with them yelling, “Poe! Breakfast!” 

Poe lurched up with a start, and upon seeing what was happening, he fell back down with a groan, but when Finn looked he didn’t look unhappy to be woken up by her. He never seemed to be unhappy to see them. “Did I hear breakfast? From my favorite girl?”

“I’m your only girl,” Rey said, rolling her eyes. 

“Not true. I also have General Organa,” he said with a wicked grin. Rey laughed, rolling over on top of him, kissing his forehead, and then Finn’s, before hopping up. 

“Breakfast! For our anniversary!” 

“Of course!” Poe said, sitting up. “Come on, Finn, breakfast!”

“Right, breakfast,” Finn said, following Poe out of the bed into the other room, Poe pulling on the jacket as he sat down at the table where Rey was already sitting. It was a round, wooden table, with metal cups already sitting in place. It appeared BB-8 was already up, since it was beeping at Rey’s feet. From what Finn understood, it was talking with Rey about the morning weather- it was going to be a beautiful day for flying. 

At the table, Finn scooped breakfast onto his plate, and looked around at his two lovers sitting at the table with him. He felt so incredibly lucky to have ended up with both of them. When Poe turned to him, he realized he must have been staring. “Sorry, it’s just-- I love you two so much, you know?” he said, and he knew Rey was watching from across the table with an ‘ _I know_ ’ look on her face. 

Poe reached over, and touched the side of Finn’s face, mirroring Rey’s look. Finn knew it must have been the same look that he used to give Rey when he was helplessly in love with her, even in those few days after he met her. “We know, we love you too. That’s why we’re all here, together,” he said, and Rey nodded.

She glanced at the time, “Oh no, I’ve got to go- you two got up so late that I’m already late for being late! I told Luke I was going to be late for Jedi training this morning because I had to spend time with my family,” she said happily, standing up. She grabbed the lightsaber on the table by the door, tucking it into the leather belt wrapped around her as she ducked out the door. 

“That’s my cue too,” Poe said, standing up, and adjusting his jacket. He turned back to Finn, “Aren’t you coming?”

“Huh?” Finn said.

“To work. You’re a big deal in the Resistance, you know,” Poe said with a wink.

* * *

“Hi, Finn,” Admiral Ackbar said as Finn walked into the control room of the Resistance. Finn waved to him, and a few others he passed as he moved to his station.

“Nice to see you!” said one of them, dressed in the brown commander tunics that made it hard to tell them apart. “It’s your anniversary isn’t it?”

“Yeah it is,” Finn said with a smile as he sat down in his chair, swiveling it around to survey the room. It was always crowded, with faces he knew. The General was in the corner, paying them no mind. 

“Make sure to look for any First Order ships approaching, since you know what they look like,” the man said, nodding towards Finn’s screen.

“Yeah, of course, what do you think I do here all day?” Finn joked, spinning the chair back to his station, with an uneasy feeling. He wiped the dust off the console, and looked up to a screen with symbols he couldn’t read, and waited for signals he didn’t understand.

* * *

Later that day, after work and training, the three of them were all back at the apartment. Rey and Poe were piled in bed, Poe reading some sort of technical manual, like the kind they had at the Starkiller Base. Those were the only form of reading in the barracks, and Finn didn’t miss it. Poe’s seemed to be a pilot’s manual, though, and Rey would occasionally look over Poe’s shoulder as he turned a page in between her tinkering on a little machine in her hands. 

Finn was getting ready for bed when he felt a series of sharp pains on his back, almost parallel to his spine. “Oh fuck!” he yelped out, almost doubling over. 

“Finn, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Rey asked worriedly, looked up from her tinkering with a concerned frown upon her face. 

"It's-- my back!" he gasped, turning from her. He pulled his black shirt over his head, and twisted around to face the mirror. 

"There's nothing there," Poe said slowly, looking at Finn over the edge of his book, eyebrows pulled together.  

He was right. In the mirror, Finn's back looked smooth, like it always had. No different. The stabbing pains resided as he stared hard at his reflection. 

"Do you want to go see the medical droids?" Poe suggested, moving to get up. Rey shifted off the bed, her booted feet dropping to the floor.

Finn shook his head, his eyes still glued to the image of his perfect back, "No..."

“Are you sure?” Rey asked, and he warily turned back to his lovers. 

“Yeah, it’s fine, it must just be in my head.”

“Come back to bed then,” Poe smiles, holding out his arms. “We don’t want to end this day, of all days, on a bad note.”

“Today’s been a good day,” Finn said, settling into Poe’s arms. Rey sank down on the mattress to join him, “The best day.” 

“Of course it’s been,” Rey reminded him, her voice muffled in sleepiness and being tucked into Poe’s and Finn’s arms, “It’s our anniversary.” 

* * *

" _Rey!” he said, “You’re back-”_

_“Poe,” she said softly, “he still isn’t awake?”_

_He shook his head, “Nothing, no change at all.” He paused, “Did you find-”_

_“We did, we found Luke Skywalker. And we brought him home.”_

* * *

Finn had the day off. He didn’t mind work, really. It wasn’t too different from working with the First Order, only he didn’t have to kill for them. And he liked it here. It was so much nicer being able to walk around, do whatever he wanted all day, it was really… freeing. This planet, like the one they’d visited where Maz’s Castle was, was very green. Not quite as many lakes, though. Finn didn’t really mind since he couldn’t swim. It wasn’t really a Stormtrooper necessity in his designated department. 

Wandering around the base, it wasn’t quite as frantic as the first time he’d been on the it, when Rey was missing. But it never seemed to settle down, really, not even since they’d crippled the Starkiller. 

Off in the distance, over on the hill overlooking the runway, Rey was training as usual with Luke Skywalker, his cloaked back turned to Finn and the road strip. She was holding the glowing blue Lightsaber, in a stance much like Finn’s former… boss? Commander? Kylo Ren. If she spotted him, he knew she would stop her training to come and say hello. He didn’t want to distract her from the important Jedi training she was doing, so he went to look for Poe instead. 

He was underneath his X-wing, with a bunch of those tools that Rey liked to point out, but Finn couldn’t tell the difference between any of them. Rolling around under the X-wing, their droid was shuffling tools at Poe when it spotted Finn.

BB-8 rolled right into Finn’s legs for his attention. He looked down at the little droid as it beeped at him, “No, BB-8, I’m not here to bother your master!” he told it. 

“You’re not?” Poe said, suddenly appearing, “That’s disappointing.”

Finn looked down and told the droid, “I’m absolutely here to bother your master.”

Poe was grinning, “You are?”

“Uh, yeah,” Finn said, and glanced Poe over. He had windswept curls falling over his forehead, and his white vest was nowhere to be seen. The top of his jumpsuit was unbuttoned, though , since the weather was nice. “You look handsome,” he commented. 

Poe snorted, “If you like orange.”

“I like orange,” Finn said, “But I like the guy in it even more. You look good.”

“Flattery will get you _everywhere_.” Poe grinned, and pulled Finn closer, kissing him. The kiss was an awful lot like something he’d imagined in a dream-- or like every other kiss they’d ever had, intense and warm. Just like the man who’d kissed him. Poe pulled back. “I like that look on your face.”

“What look?”

“That look you get when I kiss you. It’s cute. It’s like the first time, every time,” Poe said, and shuffled even closer, grabbing the lapels of his jacket. “You know what other look I like?” he asked, as he slid his knee between Finn’s legs.

“What look?” Finn squeaked.

“The look you get every time I ask you, _do you wanna get out of here_?” 

* * *

_“Oh,” she said, “You’re here- I’ll just come back later.”_

_“No, it’s okay, I’ll go-” he said, the chair scraping against the floor as he stood._

_“No, wait, you don’t have to-” she was quick to respond. “We can both be here, I don’t think they’ll mind,” she sighed, “he’s a big deal in the resistance, you know…” He chuckled, sitting back down, and scooting closer to the cot. “What were you saying to him when I came in? If you don’t mind-”_

_“I don’t,” he said, with a smile that hinted of sadness, “I was telling him about my mother. She would have liked his spirit. Your’s too- she was a pilot, a rebel, just like me…”_

_She listened with a smile on her face, her fingers wrapped around Finn’s unmoving hand._

* * *

Finn sat up, startled. “What?”

Poe was looking at him. Rey wasn’t paying either of them any attention, she was reading the same technical manual Poe had finished, on the couch. “I was just telling you about my mother.”

Finn looked down at his hands. In them was a cold metal glass, filled with water. “She would have liked me,” he found himself saying. Poe grinned.

“Yeah, she would have. I was just saying I had some time off, and Luke Skywalker said Rey’s training has been going well, so she can take some time off, too. We should all go visit my family.”

Finn had never had a family before, not before these two. Rey was looking at him expectantly from the couch, “Yeah, Poe, lets meet your family.”

“Right, great,” Poe said, nodding. “I’ll holo my dad.” Rey was smiling. Finn realized he would do anything for these people. 

* * *

 Another day of staring at sensors. In itself, the Resistance Base wasn’t too different than the Starkiller base, that was somewhere up there recuperating, or even the _Finalizer_ , though he only served on the ship for a little while. Only long enough till when he was supposed to re-earn Captain Phasma’s confidence. They all worked like cogs in a machine, everyone working under someone else, eating together in the cafeteria, sleeping closely together, he was sure. Though they never slept quite as closely with each other up there than he’d been sleeping with his partners down here. 

But at least they weren’t asking him to kill for them. Not like the First Order. Instead he mostly stared at sensors, answered General Organa’s questions. What was Kylo Ren’s position in the order? Where did he serve? What was the layout of the Starkiller? Where would Captain Phasma be?

Sometimes he dusted off old stations, sometimes he signed things, apparently. That was new. He never had to do that in the Order, all reports were made in person to a General or Commander.

“Sign this,” one of the tunic-clad men said, handing Finn a tablet. Finn paused. “What, aren’t you going to sign it? We don’t have all day here!” he said, gesturing to it.

But Finn said, “What, do I just sign my first name? I’ve never signed anything before.”

“Sure you have, you give surveillance reports all the time. You’re a Dameron, arentcha?”

And as he said it, Finn nodded, the words coming out of his mouth, “I’m a Dameron.”

* * *

_“How’s training with Skywalker going?” he asked, when she sat down. It was getting pretty late, he’d only just gotten there, too. A long day of flying behind him._

_“It’s amazing!” she said, in a hushed, but excited, voice. “Most of the morning was spent just meditating, which I can do, I did spend a lot of time alone on Jakku… but then while he was busy with the General, he set this little flying ball to zap me and handed me his lightsaber, and I had to use the force to predict where they’d be and…” she continued, narrating her training for him, occasionally rubbing her sore, zapped arms. He didn’t even realize he was staring at her with a fond smile._

* * *

Like Finn, Rey had never much been around others. Of course, that was because, on Jakku, there were physically no one to be with. On the Starkiller, that stuff just wasn’t allowed. So unlike being with Poe, or the three of them together, even after a year, sex with Rey was like… sunshine and showers, but the awkwardness of bumping noses with the giggling of best friends. And Rey was his best friend. Sometimes they just never even made it to the bed. 

“Sometimes I think how lucky I am,” she said, from lying on top of him, “to have met you. If I hadn’t found BB-8, or saw that you had Poe’s jacket."

“I was going to say the same thing, minus the attacking,” Finn said, and the laughed. “I wish you had the afternoon off too,” he said, shifting, and feeling where he was probably stuck to the couch. “But all that Jedi stuff is cool, too.”

“You could come with me,” she hummed, “I’m sure Luke Skywalker wouldn’t mind. I want you to see me fight with the lightsaber, you’ve never seen me have you?

Finn realized he hadn’t, “I’m sure you’re wonderful at it, Rey,” he said, and she settled her chin on his chest.

“Oh I am,” she snickered, but said, “Even Poe has seen me!”

“Really? When?” Finn asked, surprised. He tried to sit up, found he couldn’t.

“No, don’t, I like lying here with you,” she said, “It was when you were working, I think. You must have been working every time Poe came around. Has he never visited you at work?”

Finn shook his head slowly, “Now that I think about it, I’ve never seen you in the command center either.”

“I’ve definitely been in there, loads of times,” Rey said, but shook her head, “I have to go back to Luke Skywalker later, come on, let’s nap before I have to do that.”

“Okay,” Finn said, but as Rey fell asleep on his chest, he sat there and thought about it. He’d definitely never seen Rey in the command center. 

* * *

“General!” one of the men in the back of the command center said, his eyes scanning his sensors for data. “I have readouts from the 501st squadron!” he exclaimed, jumping up and running to the 

General. Everyone was watching them in a tense silence. He handed her the readouts, and said, “The Starkiller base was spotted in the Anoat sector!” 

“Thank you, officer,” General Organa said, looking over the readings. He saluted and went back to his station, but everyone was still watching her. 

Finn stood up from his seat, and crossed the room. “General Organa?” he asked, “The Starkiller base being in the Anoat sector makes a lot of sense- the Empire made a blockade there like, thirty standard years ago, we’ve still got some pull out there.”

Organa nodded, “I know Finn, I was there,” she said. Duh. Right. She’s _the_ General Organa, the Princess who used to have a station there, on Hoth. “Thank you for confirming that they still exist out there, we haven’t been back to the Hoth system since, what, before the Battle of Endor?” Ackbar nodded. “Thank you, Finn.”

“What will you have us do now? Are we going to go out there?” Finn asked. The room was still watching them closely.

“No,” General Organa said, “right now, we have to formulate a plan. We’ll let everyone know when it’s ready,” she said. She raised an eyebrow when she saw he was still there. The room wasn’t silent anymore. There were beeps of holovids and scanners, and the quiet chatter of personnel. 

Over the next few days, Finn checked into the command center, awaiting news about the Starkiller, about the First Order, but whenever he stepped in, it looked like it always did. The general was in the corner, Admiral Ackbar was giving commands, no one seemed concerned about the threat that was the First Order. 

“You haven’t gotten any more news about the Starkiller?” Finn asked the Mon Calamari man. He shook his head. “Nothing? At all? Not even about Kylo Ren?” he whispered furiously, not loud enough for the general to hear.

“The General said she would keep you updated,” Ackbar said as a dismissal. For the first time in awhile, Finn felt totally helpless. 

* * *

They usually went inside when it got dark, whether to hold more meetings, or to join their families, since it was better to take advantage of the daylight, and conserve energy for things like cooking and lighting homes, rather than the whole base. The three of them spend their evenings much more… creatively. 

Finn sighed pleasantly, rolling off Poe, Rey moving over to the other side of the bed to make room for the three of them to lie side by side. “I’m never going to get tired of that,” Rey said. Poe chuckled. Finn was lost in thought though, and Rey frowned at Poe, nodding to the man between them. With a series of facial expressions, Rey finally sighed, and said, “Finn, what’s wrong?” 

“It’s- nothing,” Finn said, shaking his head. 

“No, it’s not nothing,” Rey said, “you’ve been distracted for awhile now. It’s not the First Order again, is it? You know they’re not coming back for you. We’ve got you, you’re never going back.”

“No, it’s not,” Finn said, “Well, it is. But it’s not? I just keep trying to bring up the fact we don’t ever actually seem to get news about the First Order! It’s like we’re not even looking,” he said. 

“Maybe you should bring it up with General Organa,” Poe said, tracing shapes on Finn’s back. The phantom pains had scarcely been bothering him, but they still appeared, sometimes, though they were getting less severe. He hadn’t mentioned them again to Poe or Rey, didn’t want to bother them. “I can go with you if you want?” Poe offered.

Finn shook his head, which was propped up on his crossed arms. He turned to Rey, on his other side. She was covered in a white sheet, only her head and shoulders uncovered. “What do you think? Am I being totally paranoid?” As she considered, he watched the bob of her little buns. She lowered her gaze, sliding down on the bed, to where she was lying on her stomach like him, facing him. 

“I think you’re right,” Rey said, “but I can talk to Luke Skywalker if you want me to,” she said, “he knows his sister, he’ll know what’s going on.”

“No, don’t do that,” Finn said with a hefty sigh, “I’ve got to talk to her myself.”

“Oh all right,” she said, and leaned over and kissed his shoulder. She grabbed the sheet and wrapped it around herself. Standing by the window’s late afternoon light, she looked almost like she did the first time they met. 

* * *

_“Rey, they tell me you’re an accomplished pilot,” he said, and she blushed a little._

_“I’ve only flown a few ships,” she admitted, “mostly simulators. I’d never even left the planet before the Millennium Falcon.”_

_“How would you like to learn to pilot an X-wing fighter?”_

* * *

Finn had had enough. Another seemingly endless shift of- _nothing_. Nothing on his screen, nothing being reported, nothing but dust on his console. It was driving him a little bit crazy, actually. As soon as his replacement came, swapping seats as Finn patted him on the back, Finn headed over to General Organa. “General Organa?” Finn asked, “Can I have a minute?”

“What is it, Finn?” she asked, looking up. Her hair was piled on her head in a series of buns, betraying her regal attitude, despite the fact she looked none too concerned. 

“I just, I have some concerns, General,” Finn said, bracing himself for her stern look. It didn’t come. Instead, she just looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to speak. It startled him a little bit. “Uh,” he started, “isn’t it weird we never get any intel? The Starkiller intel is the first thing we’ve picked up in a year. I never see anything on my screen!”

Leia nodded, “Go on.”

“And since then I’ve come in at least three times and Admiral Ackbar hasn’t had any updates! Sorry, uh, Admiral,” he said in the direction of the Mon Calamari, “I would have thought we would have had something on the First Order by now? Or we would have destroyed some of their fleet? Are we just not making an effort, or is this how the Resistance always was?” he added as an afterthought, “The First Order always considered the Resistance to be such an annoyance.” Finn froze, realizing he must have overstepped, “Not that- I mean, you were to them, because you were always getting in their way-” he fumbled.

The general just smiled, “I know what you mean. We make it an effort to be a pain in their side, actually,” she joked. “We’ve made our efforts. We send our Fighters out on a daily basis on reconnaissance missions. We have all of you in here scanning planetary systems.”

“General! This is serious, we haven’t been doing _anything_!”

“My brother talked to me, he voiced his concerns as well,” she said, pausing.

“He did?” Finn frowned. 

She nodded, “Very well, if the two of you think the First Order poses such a threat, I’ll have the council look into it further.” She waved the gold droid over. “C-3PO, have Admiral Ackbar assemble the Resistance council. Tell them I’ll be there shortly.”

C-3PO nodded, “What shall I tell them this meeting is about, General?”

She smiled kindly, “Tell them we’re going to pull our resources and pull an offensive on the First Order. Dismissed,” she told the droid. As it waddled off, she turned to Finn again, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder, “You were very brave for standing up and voicing your concerns,” she said, and he knew it was a dismissal. He nodded, and watched her disappear off to go to the meeting.

It was strange, though, Finn thought, that she was giving in so easily, after denying the concern for so long. General Hux or Captain Phasma never would have paid so much attention to one single Stormtrooper. But wasn’t it good though, that the Resistance looked into everyone who voiced a concern? Why was he trying so hard to find problems? 

* * *

_“Do you want to get lunch?”_

_He glanced at their sleeping friend, “... it might be breakfast for me, actually, I don’t think I’ve eaten today.”_

_“Working on the X-wings later?” she said, and offered her hand._

* * *

“I just think it’s weird she gave in so easily!” Finn said, his legs crossed as he sat atop Poe’s X-wing. He couldn’t actually see them, and had no idea what they were doing, but he’d speak down to them and they’d occasionally stick their heads out and respond. “One second she was listing out all the things she says the Resistance does- which I know they do not do, I never see your Fighter leave the base- and the next she’s all ‘My brother talked to me, it’s fine!’”

“What happened to getting us lunch?” Poe asked, sticking his head out. 

“... I got distracted.” He made no move to move. He wrapped his arms loosely around his knees. “I just think it’s kinda weird, man. I mean, I just wanted her to listen, and then she did?”

“That’s generally a good thing, I think,” Rey said. “Can you toss down the pilots wrench?” He leaned forward and tossed one down to the ground. “Thanks.” She disappeared back under the fighter. 

“They never used to do that before,” he mumbled, but neither of them heard him. “So are we getting lunch or not?” he called down to them.

The clunk of someone’s head against metal was his only reply. 

* * *

“Are you still up for coming home with me?” Poe asked, right as Finn had his mouth full in the mess hall. It was stationed somewhere back behind the main hanger, well within reach of the runway and Rey’s usual training ground. Finn usually ate there alone, since he couldn’t cook. It was almost like the First Order’s mess hall all over again, eating alone- but it was much better, since he no longer felt like he was constantly being monitored, a traitor, a man in a place he didn’t belong.

Finn swallowed. “Of course you wait until I have my mouth full to ask.” Rey snickered, and Finn elbowed her. She choked, and then elbowed him back. “Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?”

Poe shrugged, “I just wanted to make sure. We need to start getting ready for leave. You requested time off, didn’t you?”

“Of course he did,” Rey supplied. 

“You getting the _Falcon_ ready?” Poe asked, nodding at her.

She nodded, “Chewie and BB-8 are working on it now, it should be fully equipped by the time we’re ready to go.”

Finn made a face, “That wookie isn’t coming with us, is he? He doesn’t like me.”

“Nonsense, he likes everybody,” Poe said.

* * *

_For once, they were sitting beside each other, rather than on either side of their unconscious friend._

_He was uncharacteristically quiet for once, gods knew he liked to talk. Oddly, she didn’t mind it. Maybe it was just being alone so long. She was lonely, she supposed. She liked having friends, she liked him._

_He was thinking of his mother, “What if he never wakes up?”_

_“I know he will,” she said with the fierce determination he’d grown to expect from her, “I can feel it, I know I’ll see him again,” she took his hand._

* * *

“Hey, you’re Finn, aren’t you?” one of the faces Finn had seen around the base before, said. She was pretty and slight, only a few inches shorter than him, with long black hair tied behind her and tucked into her orange jumpsuit, which rustled as she jogged closer. 

“Uh, yeah,” he said. “And you are?”

“A messenger from the General,” she said. “She wants you to meet her in the command center. They have news.”

“Uh, thanks,” he said. He’d been waiting days for- something. He wasn’t sure what, exactly. Word from General Organa? A meeting, maybe. 

“This way!” she said, steering him towards the command center. They ducked under the wing of an X-Wing, and avoided a few crates as they followed the masses into the command center. Like a year ago, the room was crowded with people from all over the resistance base. He saw Poe across the room, next to Rey, his orange jumpsuit clashing against the white of Rey’s desert rags. Her lightsaber was tucked into her leather straps, so she must have just been training. Luke Skywalker must have been there, then, but he was obscured from Finn’s view by his sister, General Organa.

As soon as Finn stepped into the room, silence fell over the crowd, as General Organa raised her hands to call for silence. 

“We took your advice, Finn,” General Organa said, placing her hand on his shoulder, but seemingly addressing the whole room. 

“You did?” he asked. He had no idea what she was talking about. But everyone else in the room seemed to be clued in, including Rey and Poe. They were nodding along, their eyes glued to the general.

“We sought out the remaining First Order troops,” she said, and everyone nodded along, “and on our reconnaissance mission of the _Finalizer_ , we took Captain Phasma into our custody.” 

_They did what?_ “You did _what_?” Finn said, shocked. That wasn’t- how? But she didn’t seem to be listening. It was like talking to a brick wall. She didn’t even appear to have heard him.

But then she addressed him, “You did very well, as did your boyfriend, Poe Dameron. He took out several TIE-Fighters himself.” The room exploded in applause. But Finn’s head was spinning. _How_?

“Poe didn’t go on that mission, I didn’t even know there was a mission!” Finn said, “He was at home with me the entire time. Ask Rey, she was there-” 

“Oh yes, my brother’s newest Padawan,” across the room, his girlfriend was grinning. They’d turned to her to applaud, “Rey did exceptionally well on the planet, it was she who apprehended Captain Phasma.” 

“That’s not possible, how did the mission go down?” Finn asked.

“It’s a long story,” General Organa said with a smile that said _Why are you asking questions?_ The ultimate authority. “Thank you all for coming here to celebrate our victory today, dismissed,” she said, and the applause faded out. All around him, people started moving towards the doors. Someone cut in front of him, between him and Organa.

“General! General Organa!” he said, trying to get her attention, but again, it was like she couldn’t even hear him. He turned to find Poe and Rey, but they were both gone. When he turned back to the general, she was gone too. Around him, the entire Resistance was filing out at once. He did spot a single person he knew. The girl who brought him in there, the one with dark hair in the X-Wing uniform. 

Finn caught up to her just outside the doorway, “Wait!” he said, grabbing her shoulder, and as she spun around, her position reminded him of someone he knew, back at the First Order. Which was impossible- this girl had never stepped foot outside a Resistance Base in anything less than an X-Wing. “Who are you?”

She smiled a little lopsided, “C’mon Finn,” she elbowed him, “that’s no way to treat your partner’s best flying friend! You’ve known me since like, you moved in with Poe, remember?” 

“Oh… yeah,” he said. She’d come over to fetch Poe for some exercises, that day, he recalled.

“Name’s right here,” she tapped the writing on her white vest, “Says ‘CT-773’.”

But Finn couldn’t read it. 

* * *

_“I-” she said, looking up when he walked in the room. He almost turned and walked out, but he wasn’t going to avoid it._

_“Is this about the other night?”_

_“... yeah,” she admitted._

_“I’m sorry, I should have- asked, first,” he said, sitting down across from her. She glanced at their friend._

_“Do you think he can hear us? I like to think he can,” she said, out of the blue. She looked back to him. “You shouldn’t be sorry, I liked it,” smiling almost sadly, her fingers tightened around the cold hand of her friend. “I should have said something about it earlier…” she said._

_He shook his head, “You’re as guilty about that as I am, there’s just… something about him, that it’s like I have this connection to.”_

_She nodded eagerly, “I didn’t quite realize it until he wasn’t here, and then you were here. And I… have that same connection with you.”_

_He nodded._

_“Do you really think it’ll work, with the three of us?” she asked, meeting his eyes._

_“Absolutely,” he said with complete, sincere honesty._

* * *

“I love you,” Finn told them. He had a bad feeling. He’d been uneasy since Captain Phasma had been captured and taken to the Resistance Base. General Organa had wanted him to go see Captain Phasma for days, but he’d been putting it off. Everything was so strange, as of late. But with their upcoming trip to visit Poe’s father, he couldn’t put it off for any longer. 

“We love you too,” Rey said, offhandedly. She and Poe were in the kitchen, packing. He eyed them as he stood in the hallway. He really did really love them. They were the first people he’d ever loved, actually. The family he never knew was like dust in his mind, he’d never had friends, he’d never belonged, anywhere. But lately… he’d felt like a ghost here too. Every time be brought up the mission that captured Phasma, they just smiled, lopsided, like he was making a joke. _Don’t you remember, Finn?_ He didn’t remember. He _recalled_. 

Every time they mentioned a specific part of the mission, he recalled it for a brief moment, but for the life of him he couldn’t remember the details, they would slip away from his brain immediately, he couldn’t hold onto the information. 

He had a strange feeling he wouldn’t see them again for a very long time. 

“I’m about to go, I’ll be back before we leave at fourteen hundred hours, standard time,” he called out. There was a hum of acknowledgement from the kitchen. He didn’t know who from. He ducked out the door and headed towards the detention cells. The prisoners were held away from the command center, so they wouldn’t overhear. Finn had never been there before- he’d never needed to. 

When he got to the building, the guard waved him inside. It looked an awfully lot like the First Order cell blocks. He’d certainly been there before. The guard inside said, “She’d in cell three.”

Finn nodded and braced himself. It would be the first time he’d seen Phasma in a year, not since he’d dumped her in a trash chute. She probably wasn’t gonna take that well. 

He stepped in front of her cell, and pressed the door open button. When the door whooshed open, he looked around. 

“What? She’s gone!” he told the guard. His stomach dropped. He had a terrible feeling.

“What? No she isn’t-” he said, but when the guard stepped in, his jaw dropped. “Someone call the General. The prisoner is missing.”

* * *

Finn and the outside guard took off towards the command center, practically sliding in the room with their momentum. “General!” Finn said, “She’s gone! Phasma’s gone!”

The guard, out of breath, was nodding along. 

Finn stood up straight. “You don’t look surprised,” he said, and the terrible feeling was growing. “You don’t look surprised _at all_.”

General Organa’s face was grim, her lips pressed together as she pressed a button on the control panel. A blue holographic image appeared. It was Captain Phasma, she was holding a blaster in her hand. 

“Hello, FN-2187,” she said, her holographic mask facing him. “This message is being sent from the _Finalizer_. FN-2187, report back to the First Order for Reconditioning, or everything you love will be destroyed.” The hologram pulled back. Now there were three people shown. Phasma, Rey, and Poe. This time, it felt like the earth had dropped from beneath his feet. 

* * *

He was on the ship again. The _Finalizer_. God, it was a stupid name. Who the hell named it that? The _Finalizer_. Probably the same idiot who named Phasma, or the Starkiller base. He hated the First Order. 

He navigated through the corridors like he’d never left, a blaster swung over his shoulders on a harness. Finn- or rather, FN-2187, as he’d been called then, had hardly even been taken to the ship. He worked sanitation, which meant he stayed below, rarely went out on missions. But it did mean, though, that he was intimately familiar with the ship’s layout, from all the time cleaning it. He knew where Phasma would take them. 

He held his blaster in position as the door slid open to the hanger, just where he knew they would be. The hanger was the largest open space on the ship, and when they were in space, it would be used for any ceremonies, announcements, or… executions. It was the first time he’d ever seen it completely empty, though. It was almost eerie, how silent it was. He’d grown up never being alone. Silence was deafening. 

She was up towards the middle of the hanger, his partners dropped at her feet. They were gagged, and bound behind their backs. Phasma was holding two basters, one to each of their heads. He knew he could never get a shot off at her without her killing at least one of them. He was the best shot in his squad, but he was nothing compared to the legendary shot of Captain Phasma. 

He looked to Rey first. He should have known, by then, that she could protect herself, she wasn’t that nineteen year old girl he found on that great sand junkyard anymore, she was a _Jedi_. She could protect herself. The look in her eyes, though. They were afraid, but not for herself. But she couldn’t escape. He _knew_ she couldn’t. 

Poe, next. He had that defiant look in his eye that he’d had when they first met. Same roguish good looks, too. Same bloody lip and forehead. That look had made him fall in love. But the look in his eye said, “Don’t do anything stupid.”

Finally, Phasma. He couldn’t see her face from beyond her reflective helmet. He’d never seen her face. He never would. 

He knew what she wanted, though. He’d always known. Ever since the very first time he’d said the words, “I won’t go back there,” he’d meant it. Because he knew she’d come looking. 

“FN-2187,” Captain Phasma had said calmly, “you have a choice. You can either drop your weapon, fall back into our ranks as an example, and your friends will live, or,” she paused for effect, “you can choose to die beside them.”

“I won’t do that. I won’t come back.” The look in his partners eyes was a look of pride.

“FN-2187!” she ordered in her tinny, metallic voice. “I command you to drop your weapon and file in immediately.” 

“That’s not my name!” Finn said, standing his ground. “My name is Finn, Finn _Dameron_. I have a _name_ , not a designation. I have a family, two people that love me, an entire Resistance base who knows who I am by what I’ve done, not the uniform I wear. You won’t ever know these things!”

“ _FN-2187_ , this is your last chance, either file in, or _I shoot your friends_ ,” the Stormtroopers behind her aimed their weapons.

“ _I am not going back_ ,” he said, “You can shoot _me_ , _but I am not going back_.”

The Stormtroopers raised their weapons, and the room seemed to be spinning, like a bad dream, but he wasn’t concerned. They weren’t aiming at Rey and Poe anymore. And if he was dead, they couldn’t make him come back. On Phasma’s command, the troopers fired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is being posted tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For a second time, Finn wakes up.

For the second time, Finn woke up. 

But this time, he awoke to the sounds of a medical facility, a machine beeping beside him. And like he knew they would be, Poe and Rey were beside him. They were sitting beside each other, and Rey was dozing off, propped on her hand, almost leaning on Poe’s shoulder.

When Poe’s tired eyes drifted over to Finn’s slowly opening one's, Poe jerked up straight, nudging Rey with his shoulder, “Rey, he’s awake!”

Rey’s eyes opened in sleepy confusion, but when she looked in the direction Poe was pointing, she sat up in shock too. “Finn! You’re awake!” She reached for him. Her hand was warm and comforting in his. 

“We were so worried about you buddy, we were wondering if you were going to wake up at all, for a while there,” Poe said, putting his own hand on Finn’s shoulder.

Rey nodded, “Finn, you were in a coma for over a month,” she squeezed his hand. 

“Phasma shooting me put me in a coma?” Finn asked, his voice rough from a month of disuse. 

“What? No one shot you, Kylo Ren sliced your back with his lightsaber!” Rey said. “We didn’t know anything about you being shot, did someone shoot you?”

And all of a sudden, his mind was clear. It was a year earlier. They hadn’t captured Captain Phasma. They hadn’t been running missions for months, he hadn’t started actually working for the resistance. 

“No,” Finn finally said, slowly, “No one shot me.”

Because Phasma hadn’t shot him. He hadn’t been shot. It had all been- a dream. He struggled to sit up, “Whoa, buddy, maybe you should slow down-” Poe said, trying to support Finn as he was pushing himself up. 

Finn winced, and Rey reached for him too. “Finn-” 

“I’m fine,” he said, but winced again. The two of them looked at him worriedly, and then out across the med bay. 

“Doctor!” Poe called, “He’s awake!”

“Are you sure you’re okay, Finn?” Rey whispered, her hands trying to brace him. 

“I’m… not sure,” Finn said, looking between them, their very worried eyed locked back on him. Because if that year had been a dream… so was his relationship with them.

* * *

Now that he was more fully awake, the dream, the year… felt more like a dream. He couldn’t remember specific details, only scenes. Scenes featuring the two of them, the two of them that had never actually met before his dream.

“I see you two have met,” Finn said wearily, as the two of them exchanged glances. Dr. Kalonia was rolling a scanner over his back. It beeped and she looked at it carefully, her withered eyes squinting. So far, everything had seemed fine, and she’d told him as such. 

The doctor nodded, “You seem to be just fine, Finn. Take it easy for a few days, your body won’t be used to moving around after such a long period of inactivity.” Finn nodded and thanked her. 

“You could say that,” Poe said, after Dr. Kalonia had left, and Rey elbowed him, but smiled at Finn.

“There exactly wasn’t a lot to do around the medical bay waiting for you to wake up, you know,” Rey told him, “Except make friends with the _other_ people in medical waiting for you to wake up.” 

Finn was watching them- they looked different. Not a bad different, but Rey had changed. Mostly her clothes- she was no longer wearing the rags from Jakku, only meant for a desert, but into something green that looked like it had come out of someone’s closet, not wrapped around her. She was wearing some sort of disconnected sleeve, too. But not only her clothing- she looked a little more settled, like someone with a purpose. Poe, still handsome, was wearing a command tunic.

"Rey!" Finn said suddenly, recalling the instance that caused him to get hurt in the first place. That particular memory had been omitted from his dream. "You were unconscious- Kylo Ren- how did you get away? How did _I_ get away?"

Rey, who'd been standing at attention at his side, said, "Finn, it was remarkable- I called upon the Force,” she said excitedly, “It was nothing like anything I've ever done before. I fought him," she said, almost in awe, "And I won. Sort of. He's alive, we think," she said, "But I won!" 

"That's... amazing, Rey," Finn said, nodding, "I wish I'd been there to see it." 

"You should see her with a lightsaber now," Poe said, and she elbowed him playfully. "She can deflect those remote beams like nothing I've seen." 

"I'm not _that_ good,” she said, with the promise of a, _yet_. 

"That's not what the General says," Poe said, smiling at her. It was a very fond smile, Finn noted. They must have become better friends when he was asleep than he'd thought. The last he'd remembered, they'd never even met. 

"So you've... seen her with it? Seen her practice?" Finn asked. Very good friends. 

"Only a little," Rey said, "you can come watch me later," she promised. "Master Luke is only there certain days, and he hasn't... explicitly... told me not to let anyone watch me practice," she said with a little bit of a mischievous smile. 

"What has _Master_ Luke told you not to do?" they heard a voice say from behind him.

"Nothing!" Rey was quick to say, as the voice appeared in front of them in the form of General Organa. 

"That's what I thought I heard," she said, with her own look of mischief in her eye. "Now, Finn, it's good to see you're awake. How are you?"

"Fine, Ma'am, I'll be in fighting shape in no time." 

She gave him a stern look, "Son, you don't have to fight." 

"Listen," Finn said, looking not just towards the General, but towards his friends, "I can fight, I want to fight for you guys- I was one of the best stormtroopers, I was at the top of my class-"

"Whoa you're not fighting anytime soon, not with injuries like that-" Poe said. 

"I'm fine! I want to be useful."

Rey shook her head, "Finn, you were in a coma for a _month_ , that's not nothing-" 

"But I'm fine now! Dr. Kalonia said I'm fine-"

"Dr. Kalonia said you were _fine_ , not that you had a clean bill of health," General Organa said. She'd been previously silent, letting Finn's friends try to persuade him, but her words held a certain weight.

"But-" 

"No buts," she said, with her commanding voice but kind eyes. "No fighting. We'll let you access the blaster range, for practice, and you can report to me with any First Order knowledge you think can help us, but other than that, you're off duty for now. Got it, Finn?" 

"Got it, Ma'am," he nodded. 

"Now, Poe, Rey, won't you take your friend to his assigned quarters? I imagine he'll want to get settled in."

"Yes, General," Poe nodded, and Rey squeezed his arm. 

"You don't have to fight to be useful," Rey whispered. "Not here. You don't have to fight to deserve to be here," she told him, as though she was speaking the words of another, something she herself had needed to hear. 

“But it’s the only thing I know,” he said to himself. 

* * *

“Okay, these aren’t the greatest-” Poe said, kicking the stuck door to the barracks, and then letting it slide the rest of the way open, “-quarters, but they’re just fine. I used to live in one of these,” he said, nodding over to 3C. “I live in my own officer quarters now, over on the other side of the living quarters, but honestly it’s not much better,” he shrugged.

“And I live over in 7A,” Rey said, about the first barracks they’d passed. The buildings were lettered, the rooms numbered. “That one’s mostly girls, but a few non binary folk live there too. I got the last spot- I told them I didn’t mind who I stayed with, but Karé told me she’d rather share a room with me than Shorkazza. Apparently Wookiees shed?” she shook her head, “I’ve never noticed that from Chewie,” she said with a shrug.

“You’re calling him Chewie now?” Finn said, and had the feeling he’d had this conversation before. 

“He _is_ my copilot, Finn,” she chided him, “and my friend.” They’d stopped moving. They were right in front of 7C. “I think this is you,” she said, and pushed the button.

Poe was the first to step inside, “You’re alone in here for now, but don’t be surprised if they assign you more bunk mates, we’re always getting more resistance members,” he said cheerfully. 

Finn sucked in a breath and stepped inside. It was… suddenly overwhelming. He was here. In the Resistance. He wasn’t a stormtrooper, but a resistance member, in the first space that had ever really been his own, in clothes that he could call his own. He set the box of his few possessions on the bed, that the med bay staff had given him. It contained only the clothes he was wearing when he’d left the First Order, the jacket Poe had given him, and new identification papers the Resistance had given him. It listed only his name, his age as far as he knew, and nothing else. He wasn’t the only person on the base to have such little information, they’d told him as a form of condolence, but to him, it was everything. 

He didn’t realize he was staring down at the box until he’d heard Rey’s repeated, “Finn?” and a light touch to his shoulder.

“Maybe we should… leave him alone, for now,” Poe said, eyes knowing, perceptive. Rey looked hesitant, she didn’t want to leave him. Poe’s hand was on her shoulder, though, a grounding point. She looked back at him, and then to Finn.

“It’s fine,” Finn said, “ _I’ll_ be fine.”

She nodded, and his eyes met Poe’s. But as soon as they were gone, though, he started to regret that decision. He’d done a lot of sleeping, and he wasn’t exactly tired, but… it was the first day he’d actually been awake, done things, moved- in over a month. His body was weighing him down. 

But instead of sleeping, he decided to look around the room they’d put him in. There were four beds, two stacked on top of each other on either side, built into the walls, and a space so narrow between them that another cot likely would have been the only thing able to fit between them. He looked over each of the beds- they weren’t exactly dusty, but they didn’t look like they’d been slept on in a few weeks either. They’d given him the bottom left bunk, a set of sheets and a pillow neatly folded at the foot of the bed. At the very end of the beds were storage slots, running the height of the wall. And at the end of the space between the beds, facing the door, was a full-length mirror. 

Getting on his hands and knees, Finn looked under the bottom rows. He didn’t know why he did that, and he barely missed it, but at the foot end of his bed was something cloth tucked away in the shadows. Fishing it out, Finn saw it was a russack of some sort, with a name embroidered on it. _Antilles_. 

Inside of it was a rusty can of rations and a pair of worn gloves. He suddenly had a feeling of eeriness wash over him, causing him to shudder. Finn stuffed the gloves and can back into the bag, and stuck the bag on the highest shelf, back away from anyone’s eyes. 

He made the bed quickly, with stormtrooper precision, and shut off the light, climbing into bed. He had a feeling it would be a long night of staring at the bottom of the bunk on top of his. 

* * *

It felt strange to wake up alone. Even before… the dream, he’d always been surrounded by people, even as he slept. But now, even sleeping alone in a bed felt wrong, like he should be curled around another person- another two people. Finn sat up. It was still dark outside, and he wasn’t familiar enough with this planet to tell how late it actually was, and there were no clocks present in the room. 

He felt restless. Fin swung his legs over the side of the bed, and reached for the shirt he’d discarded on the floor. It was something the Resistance had provided them, probably the same people who’d given Rey her change of clothes. They’d given him back his jacket, but there was a large scorched line running through the back that had been stitched up, so he elected to leave it, for now. Instead, he just pulled the white shirt back on, and slipped out of the barracks.

He didn’t have a particular destination in mind, so he wandered for awhile, passing what he remembered was Poe’s X-wing, and past the main Resistance command center. He figured that even at night, it was probably manned, so he steered clear of it, for now. He didn’t want to explain himself- or _how_ to explain himself. He mostly just wanted time to think, or something to do to wear himself out so he could go back to sleep.

The hill overlooking the the X-wing runway was jarringly familiar- it was where Rey- dream Rey- had always practiced with Luke Skywalker. It was a spot as good as any, Finn decided, climbing the hill. He sat down at the top, and looked up at the stars.  

He was sitting there only a few minutes when he heard the grass crunching on the hill behind him, and saw familiar boots step into his view. Rey sat down beside him. 

“How’d you know I was out here?”

Rey said, “I like it here, on the hill, where you can see all the green. And behind us, all the X-wings,” she said, glancing over her shoulder. “And... I used the Force,” she said to him, in a giddy whisper.

Her happiness was infectious, and he was- very proud of her, so he couldn’t help but smiling, “Really? That’s amazing, Rey! Have you been training with Luke Skywalker?”

She paused, and her smile only faltered slightly, “A little, he doesn’t have much time to train me since he came back. He’s working with the general, but he makes time a few times a week. I can use the saber much better now,” she said. “Almost like a real Jedi. But it doesn’t quite feel real sometimes, you know? Like I’m back playing with dolls, Jedi Rey! Almost like a dream.”

Finn shuddered involuntarily. But he knew this time, them sitting there was real. 

“Oh, Rey, I’m sorry-” 

“It’s okay,” she said, covering up his hand with her own, and leaving it there. He tried not to think too much into it, he didn’t bring much attention to it, lest she take it away. He missed her next to him. 

“I know you and Poe were going to wait till I’d rested to fill me in on what’d happened when I was… sleeping, but…” he said, hopefully.

She smiled, “If you’re up and walking around this early in the morning, I think you’re okay.” 

So she told him, as they sat there, hand in hand, looking out at the vast expanse of space above them. She told him how the Starkiller Base was destroyed, but had been evacuated onto the _Finalizer_ in orbit. They hadn’t had enough manpower to take on the entire First Order fleet, but they’d destroyed the weapon so they were counting that as a victory. There had been reports, in the first couple of days, that Kylo Ren, Captain Phasma, and General Hux, all prize members of the First Order, were alive- but hadn’t been seen in weeks. Recuperating. Planning. 

“Master Luke and General Organa are searching for any intel on them,” she said, as she inspected a piece of grass she’d plucked from the ground. “They’ve been sending the X-Wing pilots out on reconnaissance missions, to look for any intel on the First Order,” Rey told him.

“Poe?” Finn said, perking up. She nodded. 

“He went out on a few of them when you were in the coma, but General Organa decided he would be much more help here, teaching the new recruits since we lost so many of them destroying the Starkiller Base,” she said, looking out into space, “he’s been here, helping to rebuild X-Wing Fighters and… he’s been teaching me to fly an X-Wing, and fix one,” she said happily, “I think I like building things more than scavenging things.”

“I missed a lot, didn’t I?” Finn said.

“Yeah, but you’re here with us now,” Rey said, “And that’s all that matters.”

“Yeah…” he said, looking out at the stars. Sometime later, they fell asleep against each other in the grass, waking up in the early-morning dewy light, with a familiar shape peering over them, in a blurry orange. 

“Poe!” Rey said, jolting up, looking oddly sheepish at his knowing face. What he seemed to know, Finn didn’t know. But… this was the first time Finn had actually ever seen him that early in the morning. He looked good, freshly showered, and ready to teach- if that’s what he was up to that day, like Rey said. 

“I should have known I’d find you two out here, since neither of you were in your barracks this morning,” Poe said.

“You were looking for us?” Finn asked.

Poe shrugged, “Well, yeah, buddy, it’s your first day on the base- really on the base- I- we- wanted to show you around,” he said, “ _after_ breakfast.” He offered a hand to Rey, pulling her up, and then one to Finn.

Rey shook her head, “I always have trouble remembering to eat three meals a day- that I _can_ eat three meals a day, Poe’s been having to remind me.”

Poe chuckled, “I didn’t mind, don’t mind.” He glanced at Finn, “Hey, where’s my jacket?”

“Uh,” Finn said, “About that…”

* * *

A few days of inactivity later- when he’d tried to talk to General Organa about helping the Resistance he’s only been met with a resounding “ _No_.”- Finn went looking for Rey. She’d left him a note that she’d likely be practicing in the forests around the base, so if he could come find her…

Since Finn definitely didn’t have anything better to do, he wandered around the base, till he spotted someone, and asked them where Rey and Skywalker usually practiced. The pilot pointed over the ridge, and told him to just keep walking till he hit the trees. Finn followed her advice, and walked in that direction till he spotted a bright blue lightsaber among the green and brown of the forest, accompanied by little blasts of red light, and Rey. 

When he’d gotten close enough to call out her name, before he had a chance to, Rey dropped the helmet she’d been using to block her senses, and turn to him, grinning, as she shut down her lightsaber. The floating orb that was shooting at her floated just above her, without firing. 

“Wow, you’re getting good at this!” Finn said, when he got close enough. She was beaming. “Did you hear me coming?”

She shook her head, “No, I sensed it. I let the Force guide me,” she said, “That’s what I’m doing here. I used to not be able to tell when Poe snuck up on me like that,” she said, “he’s been good for practicing.”

“He’s been here a lot, huh?” Finn asked. He was getting a creeping feeling in his chest, feeling like he’d missed out on everything. Like there was maybe something they weren’t telling him. But he just shook that thought from his mind. He wasn’t going to become paranoid, not here. Not with them. 

“Not so much out here,” Rey said, “Master moved me out here when I started practicing on the harder settings. I used to practice in the rooms behind the command center, he’d occasionally sneak in and scare me.” She shook her head, “Anyway, Master didn’t want me accidentally slicing up the walls,” she said with a little bit of a grin, “so he sent me out here instead.”

“So should I, uh, take a few steps back?”

Rey nodded, “That would probably be best.”

Finn took a few steps back, as she lowered her helmet with a final smile, and the Remote started up again, firing little zaps at her increasingly quickly. Finn watched in a mesmerized silence as he watched her begin to defend herself against the firing mechanism, the more quickly she moved, able to sense the world around her with such clarity, enough to flip over the mechanism, and perform other elaborate moves that Finn had only ever heard about.

* * *

Letting Rey get back to her practice, Finn headed back to the base. On the way back, however, he spotted a familiar face among all the pilots around. Poe was talking to one of the older pilots, a man, who had a more humanoid droid. When Finn approached, the man was the first to turn, Poe’s head following. Seeing it was Finn, his face transformed into a grin, “Finn!”

“Hey, Poe. I was just watching Rey practice and I saw you here,” Finn said, and realized it must have sounded more than a little bit flat. 

“She’s amazing, isn’t she?” Poe gushed, immediately, apparently not noticing, “I haven’t had time to see her lately, with all that’s been going on, but I’m sure she’s improved from last week even- oh,” he said, turning to his friend, “This is Temmin Wexley- we usually call him Snap- and that’s his droid, Mr. Bones,” the droid laughed maniacally, in a tinny, droid voice, “Snap, this is- Finn.” 

Snap nodded, “Hey, Poe’s told me about you.”

“Hi,” Finn said, shaking his hand, but still eyeing the unnerving droid as it got back to work on Snap’s X-wing. 

Snap laughed when he saw Finn looking, “He’d meant to be unnerving,” as if reading Finn’s mind. “The original Mr. Bones was a B1 battle droid, not an astromech. He was actually kind of terrifying, if you ask my mom- he could do some real damage on a stor-” he stopped himself, “Uh, anyway, it’s nice to meet you, I should get back to repairing the coolant system or we won’t _have_ another meeting like this.” Poe nodded in acknowledgement, and turned back to Finn as a realization dawned on his mind. 

“Where’s BB-8?” Finn asked. “I haven’t seen him since I woke up!” he paused, “Wait, he’s okay, isn’t he?” 

Poe raised an eyebrow, “I didn’t know you’d want to see him. Come by anytime- uh, the runway. I’m usually teaching there, or building X-wings with the droids. If I’m not there, we’re probably in the command center. BB-8 likes it there, he’s made friends with R2-D2, Skywalker’s droid. Oh, um, yeah he’s fine,” he said in a rush. Almost like he was nervous. 

“Yeah, I will,” Finn said, and then rubbing the back of his head, said, “Actually… if you’re not busy, can we go see him now? I kinda missed the little guy.” 

* * *

Finn had thought he was fine. He’s gotten a clean bill of health from Dr. Kalonia, he’d been walking around just fine, the scar didn’t hurt, and he’d seen his _friends_. But sometimes, echoes of the dream still haunted him. Not so much the Phasma parts, that was all a little unrealistic, and in the light of day the feelings of helplessness had faded away to less than stellar memories, but… 

It had all felt so real, but like all dreams, Finn could no longer remember specifics. He couldn’t remember the feel of Poe pressed against him at night, or the way Rey’s lips felt when she kissed him a quick goodbye when she had to run off to work. He could imagine what those things felt like, sure, but he didn’t _remember_ them, anymore. And it killed him. He missed that, he missed them. Of course they were poor shadows of the real things, not real at all, and he had them, they were there every day for him, but he didn’t _have_ them. Not anymore. Not at all.

Could you really miss something like that that you’d never had?

He didn’t really miss the people from his dreams, honestly. They were pale comparisons to the real thing, memories transformed into shadows. Lack of specifics, but pretty images. But- he missed how those things made him feel. But was feeling this way even fair to his friends? He’ll admit that while he understood Rey being his lover in his dream, Poe had first been a little bit of a surprise. But much less so when he thought about it- Poe had a brilliant smile, and the attitude to match. Instantly accepting, daring and sincere enough to accept someone like him- a stormtrooper- at his word. And clearly he already got along so well with Rey, it was almost uncanny how the dream mirrored a reality he hadn’t been around to see. 

But Finn wasn’t going to lose them this time- whether to Phasma or to his own careless mind. If anything, they were still his best friends. 

* * *

Getting back to his barrack from the command center- Leia had finally agreed to let him start actually working for the Resistance, promised to let one of the junior controllers- Kaydel Ko Connix- train him to work in the command room as a controller- Finn dropped down on his bed. Looking up- or rather, down, towards the end of his bed- he noticed his jacket was missing. He sat up, and looked over the edge of his bed, checking underneath. It wasn’t under there, either, and he knew he hadn’t put it in the storage shelves. 

He hadn’t locked the door, the people around here were good guys, he hadn’t thought he’d needed to, it wasn’t like he’d had a lot of stuff anyway. But in all honesty, Finn wasn’t too worried. He suspected the jacket would turn up sooner or later. 

* * *

As soon as Finn stepped into the command room, General Organa’s knowing eyes met his, and she pointed him in the direction of the junior commander. When the controller looked up, she glanced at the general, and then took off her headset. “I’m Lieutenant Connix,” she said, introducing herself. 

“Finn,” he said, holding out his hand. She smiled, and her dark eyes reminded him of the general. She took his hand, and then settle down to work. 

“Alright, Finn,” she said, “As a controller- junior controller- our job is to direct space traffic around space stations and ships. Some of the controllers are assigned to specific squadrons, but we don’t have that much power,” she paused, “You’re friends with one of the pilots aren’t you? The cute one,” she said, and then looked a little bit sheepish, “Jessika? I’ve seen you around her friend, Dameron.” 

“Uh,” Finn said, “I know Poe, but I don’t think I know that other one?” he said, “Sorry.”

“Oh,” she said, and then shook her head, causing the buns on her head to shake slightly, “Nevermind then,” she cleared her throat, a little embarrassed, “Um, well, we also coordinate targeting data, which we feed to the astromechs,” she said, and started listing off the rest of their duties, as Finn buckled down to learn. He was a quick learner. 

* * *

Finn wasn’t wearing a shirt, it dropped to his feet as he was looking himself over in the mirror, as the door to his quarters slid open. He could see Poe behind him, in the reflection of the mirror. Poe had his mouth open to say something, but instead his eyes were boring into his back. He was staring at the scar, the long, jagged thing almost parallel to Finn’s spine. Finn had gotten a long look at it in the mirror. He’d been staring for awhile. It didn’t hurt anymore, he figured he must have slept through that part. 

“Sorry,” Finn said, reaching for his shirt, to cover it up, when Poe reached out with his free hand, and touched the raised marking on his back. Finn’s mouth went dry, and he didn’t know what to do, what to say- he could see Poe’s mouth parted slightly as he looked intently at the scar. 

Poe jerked his head up, and met Finn’s eyes in the mirror, and pulled his hand back. “Sorry,” he said, “Uh, you can put your shirt back on,” he said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. “I just, I didn’t see it before. They told me, what happened. How you fought Kylo Ren with a lightsaber.” He looked Finn in the eye, “That was really brave of you.”

“Yeah,” Finn said, with a sigh, and pulled his shirt over his head. 

Poe looked away, mumbling, “Man, I forgot how small these things were,” he kicked the frame of Finn’s bunk, “Not that my quarters are much bigger. I don’t think mine would fit two people, much less four.”

“Uh, Poe?” Finn said, with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yeah?”

“Why are you here?” and Finn doesn’t mean to be _rude_ , but he had a feeling it wasn’t to complain about Finn’s lodgings. 

“Oh! Right,” Poe said, and thrust the thing he was holding at Finn. “Here. It’s my jacket. Your jacket. The jacket,” he said, “When you told me it was burned down the back, I got it fixed for you. Nothing fancy, and you can still see the burned edges a bit, but I took out the back paneling down the middle and replaced it with the red bar.”

Finn took the jacket and stared at it. Poe looked at him nervously. Finn lunged at him in a tight embrace, and said, almost a whisper, “ _Thank you_.” 

He could tell Poe was smiling as he brought his arms up to hug Finn back. “You’re welcome.” 

As they pulled back, Finn said, “I was just about to go get something to eat. Want to come with me?”

“Yes please,” Poe said, and Finn pulled the jacket over his shoulders. 

They made their way out of the barracks and down to the cafeteria, which was only about a quarter full of people. When they’d grabbed food and were looking for a seat, Finn spotted a familiar set of buns. “Look, there’s Rey-” he said, nodding in the direction of her head. She wasn’t alone, they saw, as they approached. Sitting beside her was another human girl, with long dark hair and a familiar face...

“It’s you! I know you-” Finn said, staring at her, and then they were staring at him and maybe that wasn’t normal, since they’ve never actually met, only in his dream- “Uh,” he quickly said, “you’re one of the pilots. From the Starkiller mission,” he said dumbly, “What’s your name?”

She quickly swallowed and held out her hand, “Jessika- uh, Pava,” she said. He shook her hand. “You’re Finn, obviously. Rey and Poe have been telling me all about you.”

“Have they?” Finn said, raising an eyebrow at them. Poe was suddenly very interested in his food, but Rey was smiling and nodding. 

“Of course!” she said, “You’re my best friend.”

“Wait… Jessika?” Finn said, and the pilot looked up. “Lieutenant Connix was asking about you, she’s one of the junior controllers in the command room.”

“She was?” Jessika said eyes alert. “What did you tell her?”

“Oh, um,” Finn said, “I didn’t really know it was you she was talking about. Sorry.”

Next to Jessika, Rey’s eyes were bright, and she looked excited, nudging her friend, “Is that the girl you’ve been talking about in your sleep?”

Jessika went bright red, “Shut up, no!” 

Poe laughed, meeting eyes with Rey across the table, who had a grin spread across her face. 

* * *

Rey found him and Poe sitting, watching the sunset. It was beautiful- being on the Starkiller, which literally absorbed stars- meant that they never really got to watch sunsets. And the freedom, of the Resistance, and the freedom of sitting next to the two people he cared most about in the galaxy.

“What are you thinking about?” she said, bumping her shoulders into his, as she sat down on Finn’s other side. “You have that look on your face when you aren’t telling us something.”

“Nothing,” he said. She didn’t look like she believed him, but he knew she wouldn’t press. 

Poe, however, wasn’t that forgiving. “What is it, buddy?” he said, knocking into Finn’s other side.

"I... had a dream, when I was in the coma," Finn admitted. "More of a nightmare, really," he laughed a little bitterly. "I mean, it wasn't all bad, you two were there."

"What was it about?" Poe asked, "I had a lot of bad dreams after my first couple of missions with the Resistance. Talking about it helps."

"It was..." Finn started. He didn't know how much to tell them. He certainly wasn't going to divulge that he was in love with them in the dream, that might be a little too close for reality for them to take. Plus, what kind of friend has that dream about his two closest friends? His two only friends? "It was a year from now. But life was normal, mostly. It was good. You two were there, and we were happy. I was with the resistance, but it was different, maybe how I’d imagined things, from the couple of hours I was here before. I didn't have this scar but... no one seemed to be doing anything about the First Order, until Phasma was there wanted me to come back in exchange for- she wanted me to come back or bad things would happen," he said. 

Rey looked at him sympathetically. "Oh Finn, you're never going to have to go back. You're here with us now."

"Yeah," Finn said, "That's what you said last time."

* * *

On his way to the command room, for his first actual day of work, Finn spotted Rey sitting outside, as if waiting for someone. She didn’t know he was working then, so she must have been waiting for Poe. Poe’d gone on a mission, and was scheduled to be back around then, he’d only been gone two days, but Finn had been hoping to see him, so he’d come around a little early. Rey apparently had the same idea. 

“Hey, Rey,” he said when he approached. She looked up from being lost in thought, and smiled.

“Finn, are you working today?”

He nodded, sitting down next to her. “Yep. First day, kinda nervous,” he admitted. She squeezed his arm. 

“You’re gonna be great,” she said. 

“Are you waiting for Poe?” he asked. 

She nodded, a little surprised he knew that, apparently. “He’s debriefing, he’s already been in there half an hour,” she sighed. “If he doesn’t hurry up I’m going to have to go ahead to training.” She swung her legs under her on the bench. 

Finn paused. He’d had a slowly creeping feeling about them over the few weeks he’d been back. He took a deep breath and steeled himself, asking her, “Did something happen between you and Poe?” He looked to her, and saw she was looking down at her now-still feet. When she didn’t answer, he asked “... is there something happening between you two?”

“It’s not what you think,” Rey said, quickly, but Finn had a feeling it was what he thought. “Finn, I _promise_ ,” she said, with such a sincerity that he had to trust her. 

* * *

After work, which wasn’t quite as difficult or terrifying as he expected, even though he was carefully monitored by the other controllers and junior controllers around him, Finn was heading back to the barracks for a shower before dinner, when he heard Rey’s voice around the corner. Poe had still been in the debriefing when Rey had to rush off to meet her master, so she’d never gotten to see Poe, though Finn had passed him on the way in. 

Rey’s voice came from around the corner, before he even saw her, “-think he’s in love with you-” he heard her say, almost sadly. Finn frowned. Who was in love with whom? When he turned around the corner, he saw she was kneeled in front of BB-8, and the droid was beeping at her as she fixed it’s antenna. Above them, Poe was shaking his head. 

Poe spotted Finn across the way, and nodded at Rey, and she immediately stopped talking. 

* * *

Later that evening, after Finn had showered and gone to dinner alone, there was a knock on his door, and then it slid open, revealing Poe. He looked.. good, Finn noticed, but different. He’d showered and changed from his flight suit, but he hadn’t shaved. 

“Hey,” Poe said, “Mind if I come in?”

“Nah, of course not,” Finn said. 

“I didn’t really get a chance to say hi after I came back,” he said, “General Organa said it was your first day at work today?”

Finn nodded, “It was nice, to feel like I’m actually doing something? I’ve felt very, um, useless? Like I’ve just been leaching off the Resistance-” he held up his hands, before Poe could say something, “I know, I know!” he said, “You’re gonna tell me I’m not, and it’s _fine_ ,” he shook his head, “It’s still nice to do stuff, though. This is the biggest period of inactivity I’ve ever had.”

“Huh,” Poe said, rubbing his jaw. Finn’s eyes were again drawn there, and he drowned out the rest of what Poe was saying.

"You have scruff-" Finn said, reaching out to touch Poe's jaw, "You never used to have that before." But all too late, he realized he probably shouldn't have done that. 

But Poe didn't seem to notice the oddity, just rubbed his jaw, "Yeah, sorry, I didn’t shave on the mission, I didn’t need to.”

Finn shifted a little closer, “It- looks good, on you,” he said, “But what doesn’t?”

Poe barked out a laugh, “Now you’re sounding like the pilots.”

Finn realized he wasn’t staring at Poe’s scruff, anymore, and that his hand was still there, hovering. Poe was silent, his mind registering where Finn was looking. His lips. 

He’d never actually kissed anyone outside of his dreams, Finn realized, as they leaned closer, Finn’s heart beating out his chest, practically. But suddenly, the space where Poe was was now empty space, Poe startled back. 

He stood abruptly, looking oddly guilty, "Rey and I- have something to talk to you about. Come by my quarters later, you know where they are?" Poe said in a hurry, and Finn nodded, even though he definitely didn't know where they were. He was confused, and a little bit hurt. Had he been imagining that after all? “After I have-  twenty hundred hours, standard time,” he said, backing up, quickly, “Sorry, work,” he said, and turned to go, but paused at the door, looking back. “See you then, Finn.” 

Finn was left feeling confused and more than a little worried. What the hell did they have to tell him that was so important that it required the both of them? He didn’t like the answer his mind was providing.

* * *

Around eight that evening, Finn checked the clock for the dozenth time, and seeing it was actually time to go this time, pulled himself up, and headed out of the barracks. When he stepped outside, he realized he actually had no idea where he was going, and grabbed the first person he saw to point him in the direction of the officer’s quarters. They told him it was past the cafeteria, so he headed off that way.

But when he’d passed the cafeteria, basked in one of the overhead lights, he saw Rey and Poe in what appeared to be a heated argument. Finn froze. Rey looked upset, and Poe looked guilty. Then, Rey said loudly, “I don’t want to lose you both!” the only thing Finn had been able to hear her say. But then, she wrapped her arms around him in an embrace, and he hugged her back. They stood there for a moment, as Finn watched. Then, she let him go, and he wrapped an arm around her, and they walked off towards the officer housing. Finn waited another minute, before following, and buzzing the door labeled _Dameron_. 

The door opened almost instantly. Poe was standing there, and off to the right, he could barely see the back of Rey’s head around the corner. 

Poe's quarters were much different than they were in his dream. "Sorry," Poe winced, stepping over the piles of boxes on the ground, as they stepped over into the little living area attached to the tiny bedroom. Even if he was a commander, he barely got more than a little space to himself. But he ate in the cafeteria with everyone else, and the only other room besides the living and bedroom was a small bathroom he could see the door to. Finn was itching to clean everything up, it was messy, things were in boxes, like Poe had moved in just that week.

Finn sat on the actual couch, while Poe and Rey sat on leveled boxes just across from him. They looked almost nervous, and Rey still looked a little ticked. He’d been on the receiving end of that ticked look, and it wasn’t fun. Poe was just lucky she didn’t have access to her staff- or her lightsaber. 

“So-” Poe started, but Finn cut him off.

“I know what you guys wanted to tell me,” Finn said, and the two of them sat straighter. 

“... You do?” Poe asked, suspiciously. 

“Yeah,” Finn said, shrugging, “I saw you two outside.”

“You did?” Rey said, glancing at Poe. 

“Yeah,” Finn said again, taking a deep breath, “I get it, Poe’s like, ridiculously attractive, and so are you, and it makes sense the two of you would get together-”

“We’re not together!”

“-because you two seem like you’d really belong together, you’re both badass pilots who are ridiculously good at this Resistance thing and-”

“Finn!” Rey repeated.

“-and I mean, I get why you’d be in love with him but I don’t get why you wouldn’t just tell me I mean like, you’re my best friend, I don’t know why you guys had to come in and tell me like this, like you’re my parents-”

“Finn!” Rey said, finally catching his attention, “I’m not dating Poe!” 

“Wait, so you’re _not_ in love with Poe?”

“What?” Rey said, “I thought you were in love with Poe!” she said. 

“Um,” Poe said. But they ignored him.

“I mean…” Rey said, “I have feelings… for him…” she said, “But I don’t think this is love, not yet.” She paused, “So.. you’re not in love with Poe either?”

“Guys?” Poe said

“No. And I’m not… not… into him?” Finn said, “It’s been a weird few weeks guys.”

“I told you it was too soon to tell him!” Rey said to Poe.

“I don’t know, I just wanted to give him the option since we both had feelings for him!” Poe said, frowning. “And obviously I had them for you. Have them for you.”

Finn was frowning again, “Okay, can we please start this over? I’m really confused. Who has feelings for whom and who’s together?”

Rey sighed, and shook her head. “No one is together. Not yet. Poe?”

Poe sat down beside her, his hands clasped in front of him, “We, uh,” he chuckled lightly, “Rey and I spent a lot of time together when you were unconscious. A lot of time. There wasn’t much to do when we were off duty, especially when you were waiting to wake up, you know? So I taught her to fly an X-wing, and she let me watch her practice her training, and we just, uh… we realized we might like each other, more than friends.”

“You were right, the way you talked about him,” Rey said, “Poe really is a wonderful person. He showed me the archives, where I read up on the pilot who’s helmet I owned back on Jakku. And, uh, then there was the kiss…”

“What kiss?” Finn asked. Rey looked a little guilty, Poe just shrugged. 

“It was just a kiss. But that’s when Rey told me she had feelings for you,” Finn mouthed at her, _you do?_ She smiled back. “And that she thought you had feelings for her too.”

Finn said, “Um, yeah… I wasn’t really subtle about that, was I?” Rey giggled, and shook her head. 

“And I, uh,” Poe said, “I admitted that I was attracted to you, too.”

“Oh,” Finn said, and realized he wasn’t imagining it after all.  
  
“Yeah. And I was hoping that you felt the same way. It’s okay, if you don’t…” Poe said, but this time, more hopeful, “But Rey said she thought you were in love with _me_ , so that gave me a little bit of hope.” 

“I… do,” Finn said, his voice a little strangled. “That’s a lot to, um, take in.” And he’d just grown used to the fact they _weren’t_ together. 

Poe sighed, “Maybe you were right, about waiting to tell him.” He looked to Rey. She had her, _you should have listened to me_ , face on. 

“Wait, wait to tell me?” Finn said.

Rey nodded, “We didn’t want to scare you with this or anything. We both like you. We both want to be in a relationship with you, and with each other.”

“So… the three of us?” Finn asked, and tried not to sound hopeful. This was starting to sound too good to be true.

Rey nodded, nervously. Poe placed his hand on top of hers, comforting. 

“Um, I’m absolutely all for that,” Finn said eagerly. “Like, all for that. Completely.”

Poe looked shocked, and then turned to Rey, “Did he really say that?” Rey was beaming, and nodded.

“I think he did,” she said, and threw her arms around him. 

“Um, guys?” Finn said, “Where’s my hug?”

Rey beamed at him and opened her arms to pull him in.

* * *

Finn stood in his room, nervously fixing his jacket. There was a knock on his door, causing him to look up. “One second!” he said, and took one last look in the mirror. He pushed the button, opening the door to his quarters. 

Standing there was Poe, looking handsome in his off-duty clothes, similar to the ones they first met in. And with Poe’s arm around her, Rey was standing there, looking beautiful as she beamed at him. “Ready for our date?” she asked. 

Finn looked between them, stepping forward with a nod, “Absolutely,” and kissed the two of them each, in greeting. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! Also, sometime this week I'll be posting a sequel that's not so much a sequel as the interlude- which will be about what Rey and Poe get up to during Finn's coma that leads them to where they are when he wakes up.


End file.
